An angel for Carson

This little girl is amazing. She brings out something in Carson that nobody else can. Carson doesnt interact with other children EVER! Aryn and Carson have known each other their whole lives and anytime they are together Carson smiles so much and will grab her hand and play with her. Its amazing! When they are together its easy to forget that Carson has autism beause its almost like its erased when he is with Aryn. He is a happy playful little boy full of smiles and laughter. Its just so amazing to see!!! Aryn is an angel sent from God to help Carson!!!

Repeat after me; it's not my fault my child has autism

I cant wait to read this book

That’s the first line of our book, Navigating Autism. Someone asked me recently why we chose that as our opening line, so here’s the explanation. When we stated dealing with this seven years ago, we were filled with fear, anger, frustration and guilt. “How could this happen to me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “This isn’t fair, why can’t I ever seem to catch a break?” I, I, I, me, me, me. Sounds pretty selfish huh? Looking back, I feel like, “Wow – what was I thinking?” But when you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. It’s not an excuse, just an explanation. Both of us went through a rough time after we heard the diagnosis. Here’s the painful truth, this didn’t happen to me, it happened to my children. Their struggles, triumphs or failures belong to them alone – not me. Yes, I will contribute to and share in their successes and disappointments, but as a parent just like any other. When I started to think about it that way, my whole perspective began to change. All that frustration and anger became determination. I stopped focusing on my problems and put my focus where it needed to be, on my kids. I quickly started to recognize problems and even better, forming solutions. Yes, at first, a lot of those solutions didn’t work, but at least I was looking in the right direction. As a parent, I can tell you, I went through a rough time afafter I heard the diagnosis. You have to get past your own problems so you can help your child.

Okay, enough doom and gloom, here’s the silver lining that I’ve discovered. I am a much better parent because of autism. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m perfect but I can say that I am much closer to being the “Dad” I want to be. I work in Hollywood which is… let’s see, what’s the nice way to put this, the most shallow, self centered, self serving, egotistical industry on the face of the planet. Yeah that’s the nice way to say it. My kids saved me from that. I am involved in their lives. I know what they like to do, I play games with them and every time I come home after being gone, they are excited to see me. Let me tell you, nothing tops that.

2 steps forward...3 steps back!

We have had some challenging days. Carson's meltdowns have become more regular and more intense. We never know what might set him off. Sometimes it feels like walking on eggshells because we just never know what will upset him. He was eating popcorn tonight and his bowl was almost empty and I went to refill it abs he got so upset. He knocked the bag of popcorn out of my hand, threw his bowl on the floor and started flailing his arms and legs and screaming. I felt awful and couldn't calm him down. Episodes like this have been occurring more and more. I expected his fits would get worse the older he got but these are far worse than I ever imagined. He is so strong that I can hardly contain him. I worry that the older and stronger he gets I will have no control over him at all. We have to take this one day at a time and remember as stressful as it can get for us it has to be frightening to him when he loses control. He has come a long way and we can't let setbacks discourage us. He is a fighter and he will overcome this!!!

Celebrating the 4th of July

We  had a GREAT 4th! We went to the lake and swam all day. They had live music and food at the beach and an awesome firework show. The kids had so much fun. Carson was in the water for 3hrs straight!!! He LOVES water!!!

Regression

Carson has been doing so well the past year or so but the past few weeks he is starting to slip back into his old ways. We weren't really sure if the GFCF diet was helping him so we have been giving him things with gluten and dairy in them for about 3 weeks and I think that is why he has been acting this way. Now for sure we know that the diet does work. Not many doctors believe in the diet and even Carson's teacher at school says she doesnt think it has any benefits. Well I know first hand that it DOES work!!! We have had him back on it strictly now for a week and he is already sleeping better and having less tantrums. This diet does indeed work!!!

Last week was Carson's summer break and we had such a great week. We went to the water park, the movies to see Madagascar 3, Carson's first movie. We went to the lake and we went to DC and Maryland to visit family. Carson had a great week but had to go back to school today. A lot of times Carson is very detached to me and that is so hard. When he is home with me for breaks he gets to where he wants me with him a lot and that makes me feel so good. Today when I dropped him off at school he didnt want me to leave. It made me so sad but at the same time it made me feel really really good. Its so sad when your own child pushes you away and doesnt really want anything to do with you. I think its getting much better.